Being Controlling Invites Being Controlled. The Content within has No Need to Control...





*Welcome to the new version of my Wix blog. I successfully transferred all of the old posts into the new form. Same great content, slightly different layout. Happy reading, you all!



We control largely because we fear what might happen if we let go and let it be. We might not like how it turns out or what we are stuck with. But what we attempt to control we give the power to control us. For energy mirrors energy, and what we do to it, it must do to us. Before we judge the propensity to be controlling, let us understand that our inner fears are founded by the buried memories hidden in the cells of our body from various connected incarnations where awful and terrible stuff happened to various identities we were/are--these parts of know that there were times when we needed to be controlling if we desired to survive. But while these shadow aspects served us in some lifetimes they also bound and trapped us to remain stuck in the low domains they were exiled to.

Our freedom from being controlled, and their freedom from being the form of the controlling/controlled, is at first, acceptance of it all, and then to relinquish our need to control or be controlled, while simultaneously embracing everything as it is in a state of complete unconditional love, walking with open head, heart, and hands towards life and the life that walks towards us. This doesn't mean that we resign ourselves to suffering through and just settling for what is presently unwanted by the name we call ourselves, but that instead of fighting it or trying to control and limit it, which only keeps us limited and fighting, we seek to understand and grow from and with it, while also realizing that if it exists in our reality, then it was INVITED by some part of us inside of us that matched it--our inner MAGNETS, i.e., EMOTIONS.

What kind of hosts would we be if we neglected the guests we called upon to visit us? If we don't want them to overstay their welcome we better welcome them with loving and open arms and Heart. We'd also be foolish to think that what is unwanted to our ego holds no value or worth for us, for all was made to be what it is presently being, serving the consciousness that is presently encountering and perceiving it. It was the energy of LOVE that shaped it and only LOVE that can reshape it. LOVE is at peace with all that is. LOVE is content being what IT is and allowing all to be what it is presently being, while remaining loving towards it. And it is from that state of peace and contentment that ultimately puts LOVE in control of it all, for LOVE created it all and so only that frequency has the power or ability to recreate/reprogram anything. In contentment is a relaxation and ease that is the epitome of the perfect flow of energy, the fluidity and grace of water and SOURCE LOVE--the Creator Frequency.

When one is CONTENT within themselves they don't need to CONTROL everything and everyone, for they are strong in their CENTER, in head, heart, and body (belly) and connected to SOURCE. This connection to SOURCE lets them know that they are connected to totality and plugged into this endless supply of energy, thus there is no need to control or hold onto rigidly, for supply is endless and potentials are infinite--whatever is needed is easily magnetized or manifested. But when one is cut off from SOURCE, stuck inside itself and its 3 lower bodies (physical, lower mental, and lower emotional body--the human self, separate from the Higher Self) it is stuck in the lower frequencies and dependent solely upon its own actions and effort, continuously engaged in a struggle for survival and dominance over the environment and all within it. In this space, fear and scarcity consciousness exists, which makes resources appear scarce and limited, thus creating a need to fight, control, and overpower others to remain in control of the situation, space, and resource--all so that the individual survival is not threatened.

Your belly is your 3rd Chakra/Energy Center; it is called the Solar Plexus Chakra and is your gut power center, seat of the soul's gut instinct where the soul communicates with the personality through body sensations expressing feelings meant to guide the being. The color yellow is associated with this chakra, and the image is a sun burning bright, thus its name "Solar Plexus" (a complex of ganglia and radiating nerves of the sympathetic system at the pit of the stomach). The sympathetic system, responsible for the body's fight-flight-freeze-response and maintaining balanced homeostasis within various body functions/systems, is one part of the autonomic nervous system, responsible for the body's unconscious actions. The parasympathetic nervous system is the second part and is responsible for feed-breed and rest-digest aspects of the biological being.


The solar plexus is where your digestive fire resides, the ability of your body to digest and process all you physically consume, but it also is impacted by the emotional (feelings) and mental (thoughts) energy that moves through the individual's field and how well these aspects are received/processed. It is connected to the Pancreas and regulates metabolism, and influences the intestines, pancreas, liver, bladder, stomach, and upper spine in the physical body. The energies that it deals with are issues of power and control.


The mantra sound is RAM (A= Ahh, so it is pronounced; Rahhmm); chanting it repeatedly increases confidence, self-assurance, self-control, ability to stand up for the self, while diminishing anxiety and stomach pains. If your belly hurts or you experience nervous-belly you can take some deep breaths, place one hand on your belly and repeat RAM, RAM, RAM, RAM... swiftly and repeatedly until you feel better. *Remember daily to breathe deep into the belly to pull your soul/consciousness into the body, reconnecting to any energy that you are perceiving/processing/reintegrating. The first three chakras: root--survival; sacral--creation and appetites; and solar plexus--power and control, make up the base Human personality--the aspect of the self that holds the shadow mental and emotional aspects and can be separate from God/the Higher Self within.


Affirmations to transform the controlling self into the calm and contented Self:

I accept and own the parts of me that are the controlling and the controlled. I thank them for serving my soul/Soul in all the ways they did. I surrender control and my need to control or be controlled. The immature mind lives according to those rules. I reconnect to the Higher Mind and choose to be content within myself, trusting that life will flow as it needs to and all I need shall come to me. By choosing to be content I relax and float on top of the current, carried to and through delightful spots instead of being dragged down and drowned in the tumultuous undercurrents, allowing those individuals that are meant to be with me to come and go when they are meant to, and giving the same freedom to myself.


Journal Exercise to help better understand the inner selves:

When you feel the energy of controlling trying to take control of you, take a moment and take a deep, slow breath. All energy is a part of us and can be understood/accepted by us, reintegrated within and transformed by us.

When you feel others are too controlling of you or you are too controlling of others, ask yourself what you or they are afraid of losing? Ask yourself why and how you feel powerless or weak and vulnerable? Simply being willing to see and face our fears allows us to address them from our Heart where we can heal and release/reprogram old patterns that don't serve our or others' wellbeing and higher states of being. You can sit down with a journal or a few pieces of paper and write out

I feel controlled by...

I feel controlling when...

Why do I feel the need to be controlling of self? of others? of life?

I feel afraid of losing...

Take the time to free flow write out whatever answers/responses come to mind.


Awareness is us seeing the chains that bind us and the key that lies within that is able to unlock them. Acknowledgment with voice is the key we must pick up to unlock the chains in brain and body. Acceptance is picking up the lock. Forgiveness is putting the key into the lock. Gratitude is turning the key. Compassion is releasing the lock and the chains. LOVE is freedom to the giver and receiver, the bounded and the bind, the wounded and the wound--LOVE is healing. LOVE is wholeness.

Best of luck to you all in your healing journeys--Open heart, open mind opens life and body in all the ways that feel good. Remain open. Be whole!


All my love, Jamie Ferry